I can hardly believe that we are leaving in THREE days.
Have I mentioned that we are flying to the other side of the world??
To meet our DAUGHTER!
I'm officially in labor and I am trying to remember to breathe.
I have so many emotions. In many ways these feelings are so similar to the ones that I felt during labor with our other children. In other ways, it is so very different.
I am SO thrilled to finally meet Mia! I cannot wait to bring her into our family. We have long awaited this day. We have prayed for her more than you can imagine. We have dreamed of her and talked about her and longed for her for almost 3 years.
I am scared. Will she love us? Will she be terrified or angry or inconsolable? Will we be able to communicate?
I am sad. I will miss Caleb, Luke and Chloe tremendously. Anticipating being away from them for so long has been overwhelming at times. It will be hard.
I am contemplative. In these last days, there have been moments that I am overcome with emotion by the enormity of the change that lies ahead. What will it look like? How will every one respond to the change?
I am overjoyed. Very soon Ma Chun Hui will be Mia Jane Hui Vandenberg. She will never again be labeled an orphan.
She will be loved and chosen. She will belong.
She will be a daughter.
A sister.
A granddaughter.
A cousin.
A friend.
Never again an orphan.
Never ever again.
Thank you Jesus.
I am nervous. Will we get there and back safely? Will the kids be okay at home? Will our family & friends be exhausted? Will I remember everything we need? Will I be able to capture these moments and her history and culture to share with Mia someday? Will we be able to care for Mia's medical needs? Will we get the answers to our questions?
And then I am reminded... that God has taken care of all of these things in advance. He has gone before us. He knows what lies ahead and it is GOOD. Even if it is hard. Even if it is painful. Because we love Him, He will work ALL THINGS together for good.
He already has.
I am trusting.
Do not be afraid, for I am with you; I will bring your children from the east and gather you from the west. Isaiah 43:5
I will go before you and will level the mountains; I will break down gates of bronze and cut through bars of iron. I will give you the treasures of darkness, riches stored in secret places, so that you may know that I am the LORD. Isaiah 45:2-3
Friday, July 16, 2010
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4 comments:
Oh Karen, I could have written that post myself. I really needed to hear the end - you are so right! He HAS gone before us. There is nothing to fear! Honestly, He has already moved so many mountains for us in this process, how can I doubt him now!?
It is totally scary though, isn't it? I also am grieving over leaving my boys behind. UGH! It is so hard!
Anyway, good luck to you! We will be there at the same time. Maybe our paths will cross.
Michele (jackjujam on RQ)
Praying for you and with you and looking foward to watching God's perfect plan unfold. Blessings to you all.
Praying for your family - what an amazing journey the Lord has for you!
God hears every bit of your heart in labor. I can only imagine he felt a Godly form of similar emotions as he agonized over the sacrifice of his son to assure our spot in His family,"that they'll never again be called orphans".
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