{finally a decent family photo of 6...thank you Christy!!!}
Wednesday, March 30, 2011
Sunday, March 27, 2011
Blocks, Matchbox Cars, Tea Parties, School and Tattoos
I thought I would post some snapshots of our daily happenings around here...since in the midst of the tough stuff there is a whole lot of joy & normal too...
The month after we moved here, Steve built some large wooden shelves in our storage area. With the remaining wood, he cut up blocks (squares, rectangles- small & large, and triangles) and then he sanded the sides of each and every one for his sons to enjoy. All of those blocks filled a huge rubbermaid tub to overflowing and the boys were thrilled. At that time, Caleb was 3 years old and Luke was 18 months. That was almost 7 years ago. Let's just say that those blocks have proven to be the very best gift our children have ever received {we're talking earthly gift -obviously}. No bells. No whistles. No batteries necessary. Just blocks of wood. But they have gotten more use than anything else that has entered our home. Hands down. And they still do.
Those blocks have become hundreds of massive towers over the years. They have become as many fancy houses and architectural masterpieces. They have been forts for stuffed animals and garages for cars. They have been safe "rocks" to jump to when they could not touch the "lava" {carpet}. They have been ramps for trucks, weights for blankets and lifts for race tracks. And they have served as a stage for the kids' countless performances. Below is a picture of one of the shows that Luke & Chloe recently put on for us. Only a portion of the blocks were used, but Steve, Caleb, Mia and I were invited to the event {audience chairs provided, of course}. We watched matchbox cars launch down tracks, through block tunnels, under the couch and around again, while the train made loops through the action. The pictures can hardly capture their enthusiasm. I only wish I had taken more over the years...
The next photos are from Chloe and Mia having one of their many, many tea parties. More often than not I am invited too which is a wonderful privilege. It has been a great place to talk about manners and table etiquette and just enjoy time with my girls. Chloe makes sure we have tea {or water}, a snack and usually a Bible study too. That cracks me up since clearly she has seen many a Bible study accompanied by tea and a snack. Is there any better way? =) Mia is always happy to join in and generally attends in princess wear.
Oh how I hope they never end.
Another of the girls' recent passtimes is playing school. Chloe plays an excellent little teacher. She has number work, map work, reading, sounds and puzzle words. She even uses a little bell to announce toall of her students {Mia} that it is time for snack. Mia is eager to work on her letters and color so they make a great team - most of the time. =) Chloe & Mia are only separated by 10 months, a few inches and 1 pound and they are sisters in every way. It really is such a joy watching them play with one another and teach one another.
The month after we moved here, Steve built some large wooden shelves in our storage area. With the remaining wood, he cut up blocks (squares, rectangles- small & large, and triangles) and then he sanded the sides of each and every one for his sons to enjoy. All of those blocks filled a huge rubbermaid tub to overflowing and the boys were thrilled. At that time, Caleb was 3 years old and Luke was 18 months. That was almost 7 years ago. Let's just say that those blocks have proven to be the very best gift our children have ever received {we're talking earthly gift -obviously}. No bells. No whistles. No batteries necessary. Just blocks of wood. But they have gotten more use than anything else that has entered our home. Hands down. And they still do.
Those blocks have become hundreds of massive towers over the years. They have become as many fancy houses and architectural masterpieces. They have been forts for stuffed animals and garages for cars. They have been safe "rocks" to jump to when they could not touch the "lava" {carpet}. They have been ramps for trucks, weights for blankets and lifts for race tracks. And they have served as a stage for the kids' countless performances. Below is a picture of one of the shows that Luke & Chloe recently put on for us. Only a portion of the blocks were used, but Steve, Caleb, Mia and I were invited to the event {audience chairs provided, of course}. We watched matchbox cars launch down tracks, through block tunnels, under the couch and around again, while the train made loops through the action. The pictures can hardly capture their enthusiasm. I only wish I had taken more over the years...
Oh how I hope they never end.
Another of the girls' recent passtimes is playing school. Chloe plays an excellent little teacher. She has number work, map work, reading, sounds and puzzle words. She even uses a little bell to announce to
The next photo is one I just snapped this morning before we headed out to church. The girls both wore purple in honor of their pal, Alaina. You see, Alaina's FAVORITE color is purple and today was her birthday. They were thrilled to greet Alaina this morning with happy birthday hugs and she was, of course, wearing purple too. The simple joys.
Finally, this last photo is for my dad. Caleb and Luke were at a birthday party Friday night with one of their favorite pals. They ended up with a bunch of tattoos from the tiny arcade at the pizzeria where they celebrated. When the boys returned home they were excited to show me all of their new treasures...especially the tattoos. Luke really wanted to put them on and take a picture just for Boppa {he knows how much Boppa loves despises tattoos}. I asked them to wait until after we did some family pictures we had scheduled for Saturday morning {big THANK YOU Christy}. Not five minutes after Christy left, Luke walked out with the tattoos in hand. The next thing I knew Steve and the boys disappeared into the bathroom and these were the tough guys who returned. Sorry Dad! I think you have made quite an impression. They would never dare get the real thing and have to face you. :)
Until next time...
Grateful for the crew that the Lord has entrusted to us.
Monday, March 21, 2011
Do I Hunger for Righteousness?
Without a thought, my response would be yes.
But when I pause, do I really?
Hunger?
For Righteousness.
Yesterday was one of those mornings where I felt the Lord speaking directly to me through His Word and through the faithful teaching of our pastor. It was certainly not the first time. We are so grateful for the church home that the Lord has blessed us with here. We are so fortunate to be a part of a body that is led by humble servants of Christ and filled with people who we dearly love. They are family.
This weekend was an incredibly difficult one with Mia. She has been demonstrating some significant lying and I am having a hard time. A really hard time. You see, in our house, truth is one of those battles we are willing to fight. It is a hill we have always been prepared to die on. And now with Mia all bets are off. When she decides to lie she has no intentions of backing down. None. Even when we are certain she is not speaking the truth.
She will say, "I want to lie to Momma."
Let that sit for a second.
Because for me that statement cuts me to the core. Lying is no greater sin than the greediness underlying a child's unwillingness to share with a sibling or the pride found in a boastful child. But lying feels so much more personal to me. It feels like a personal offense. And my reaction, as a result, is so much more intense. It breaks relationship. It breaks trust. It breaks fragile, growing bonds.
I know that I need to recognize this is absolutely typical behavior of a child adopted at Mia's age. It is likely the behavior that allowed Mia to survive her former circumstances. I am certain that lying was a regular part of her life in an orphanage. I am also fairly sure that lying was done to protect herself from potentially awful consequences. And culturally, at times we experienced an acceptance, even expectation, of lying while we were in China. So we have some real work to do. And it is hard. And painful. I need to get some tougher skin. I need to have right expectations. I need to learn to live and respond like Christ. To love extravagantly in the face of personal offense.
I do hunger for righteousness.
Until it gets hard.
And then it seems I want the easy path to righteousness.
But refining requires fire.
I want to be in a place where I welcome the flames.
Because I know on the other side is a beautiful reflection of Christ
and His redemptive work in me.
The song below has been ministering to me in huge ways this weekend. The Lord brought it to me at just the right time. And He provided wisdom and tenderness and understanding from my husband and boys who were away for the weekend. He provided comfort from my friend Christy even all the way in Ohio. And Jess who did not need to stop by, but did. He provided His sweetness through my sister ready to drop everything and drive here. And He showed His love through the dear friends who cared about us on Sunday morning even in the midst of their own busy weekends.
Thank you to each of you.
God is good.
I have prayed for this to pass.
But His love is too great to give us lesser things.
So if the fire is what I need
and if the fire is what will bring Him Glory,
then yes please, bring the flames.
I hope this song will minister to you too (make sure to turn off my player at the bottom of my blog so that you can listen).
Truly Hungering for Righteousness,
Karen
But when I pause, do I really?
Hunger?
For Righteousness.
Yesterday was one of those mornings where I felt the Lord speaking directly to me through His Word and through the faithful teaching of our pastor. It was certainly not the first time. We are so grateful for the church home that the Lord has blessed us with here. We are so fortunate to be a part of a body that is led by humble servants of Christ and filled with people who we dearly love. They are family.
This weekend was an incredibly difficult one with Mia. She has been demonstrating some significant lying and I am having a hard time. A really hard time. You see, in our house, truth is one of those battles we are willing to fight. It is a hill we have always been prepared to die on. And now with Mia all bets are off. When she decides to lie she has no intentions of backing down. None. Even when we are certain she is not speaking the truth.
She will say, "I want to lie to Momma."
Let that sit for a second.
Because for me that statement cuts me to the core. Lying is no greater sin than the greediness underlying a child's unwillingness to share with a sibling or the pride found in a boastful child. But lying feels so much more personal to me. It feels like a personal offense. And my reaction, as a result, is so much more intense. It breaks relationship. It breaks trust. It breaks fragile, growing bonds.
I know that I need to recognize this is absolutely typical behavior of a child adopted at Mia's age. It is likely the behavior that allowed Mia to survive her former circumstances. I am certain that lying was a regular part of her life in an orphanage. I am also fairly sure that lying was done to protect herself from potentially awful consequences. And culturally, at times we experienced an acceptance, even expectation, of lying while we were in China. So we have some real work to do. And it is hard. And painful. I need to get some tougher skin. I need to have right expectations. I need to learn to live and respond like Christ. To love extravagantly in the face of personal offense.
I do hunger for righteousness.
Until it gets hard.
And then it seems I want the easy path to righteousness.
But refining requires fire.
I want to be in a place where I welcome the flames.
Because I know on the other side is a beautiful reflection of Christ
and His redemptive work in me.
The song below has been ministering to me in huge ways this weekend. The Lord brought it to me at just the right time. And He provided wisdom and tenderness and understanding from my husband and boys who were away for the weekend. He provided comfort from my friend Christy even all the way in Ohio. And Jess who did not need to stop by, but did. He provided His sweetness through my sister ready to drop everything and drive here. And He showed His love through the dear friends who cared about us on Sunday morning even in the midst of their own busy weekends.
Thank you to each of you.
God is good.
I have prayed for this to pass.
But His love is too great to give us lesser things.
So if the fire is what I need
and if the fire is what will bring Him Glory,
then yes please, bring the flames.
I hope this song will minister to you too (make sure to turn off my player at the bottom of my blog so that you can listen).
Truly Hungering for Righteousness,
Karen
Wednesday, March 16, 2011
A Month in Review
Again, I have neglected the blog...
And there is tons to update, but here is the month in review. Mia is doing very well at pre-school. She loves it. She is playing with friends and gaining confidence in her language. We have made some real progress in many areas. For a period of about 4 weeks Mia was waking in the night and crying. This was a brand new issue. Mia had never demonstrated any difficulty with sleeping or crying in the night. From the day we met her in China, she would lay down and go to sleep at bedtime. Why now we questioned? I knew from our reading that there are often new layers of grieving and new layers to attachment that present themselves periodically. Is that what this was? It began when she was sick with pneumonia and then continued for weeks after she was healthy again. It was really difficult and we had no idea how to handle it. She was able to be consoled after some amount of time. Eventually Mia would stop crying, but if we left she would begin again and it was escalated into yelling and screaming. {MAD!}
She was sad and she was angry. It turned into a pattern of behavior where she was seeking our attention and love in the middle of the night. It went on for 1-2 hours some nights. Not so fun for anyone. We spent a lot of awake time and sleep time talking about how she could be sure of our love. We talked about how if she wakes up and is afraid or sad we would come and give hugs and kisses and pray, but then it was time to sleep again. We spent a lot of time in prayer. There were times that I felt so helpless. And times when I was very frustrated and exhausted. There were other times I just felt so sad for the insecurities that she must have in order to carry on in this way.
It is times like these when I really question how to parent. We knew that she was manipulating us and yet we knew that it was coming from such a fragile, emotional unmet need. We made sure to give a lot of extra love and kisses and snuggle time during the day. We talked a lot about what to do if she would wake up in the night {hug her baby, snuggle her blankies, ask for Mommy & Daddy if she needed our love}. We also told her that we were always available to give hugs and pray in the middle of the night, but afterward we would expect her to go back to sleep. We told her there would be consequences if she chose to continue to yell and scream. And we followed through. Her consequences were a nap the next afternoon and no treats after lunch or dinner the next day. I really had no idea if that would be effective, but we prayed desperately for her success. I am beyond grateful to say that Mia has now been sleeping through the night again without crying or yelling for over 3 weeks. Praise. The. Lord. And all glory to Him.
We have other issues that come up, but for the most part Mia is doing unbelievably well. I think because she is doing so well overall there are times that my expectations for her are way too high. I need to remind myself that she has only been in our family for 7 months. In many ways I believe emotionally Mia is much like a 2 year old.
{just a note...that is really hard to remember when she is in an almost 5 year old body and such a bright little girl}
Mia is gaining ground every day that she realizes the security she has in our family.
But trust takes time.
Mia continues to have an intense fear of dogs.
Unreasonably intense.
She clings to me (or Steve) with such grip & fear if a dog is even in the same room. She sobs and begs and pleads for the dog to be removed. It is so upsetting to me that she does not understand that she can trust us. I have seen fear in my other children before, but when they are in my arms they are comforted. For Mia, it is as though she does not believe that we will protect her. It is heartbreaking.
But we have gained ground here too. Just last night we went to our friend's home who have a sweet black lab. As soon as Mia heard that we would be going there, she said "I scared puppy." We spent a lot of time talking about the dog before we arrived. We spent a lot of time talking about how God gave her mommy & daddy to help protect her.
We talked about trust.
And for the first time, we were able to walk past the dog without gripping fear and tears. Mia said, "Hi puppy" as we walked past the dog and she allowed us to carry her inside. Don't get me wrong, Mia still was not interested in the dog being indoors or near her for any length of time, but she demonstrated a level of security and comfort in Steve's arms with the dog nearby that she has never shown before.
Even if it was brief.
That's victory.
Thank you Jesus.
On another note, Steve and I had the wonderful opportunity to getaway for 5 nights when we went on a cruise to the Bahamas at the beginning of the month. It was a much needed break for us. It was the first time away that Steve and I had taken since China {which was not a vacation}. Just saying. =) We went with 2 other couples who are dear friends and we had a blast. We made sure to have time alone as couples and then had lots of fun as a group during the evenings. My parents stayed with the kids and did a fantastic job managing all of the schedules, feeding the V. Crew and keeping life in order. We appreciated their sacrifice beyond measure. Steve and I both find it so important to have time away as a couple to pour into our marriage. My parents willingness to make that happen is a precious gift to us. Thank you Mom & Dad.
Until next time, we are thanking the Lord for His work in our lives and our family.
Below are a couple photos from the trip ...
And there is tons to update, but here is the month in review. Mia is doing very well at pre-school. She loves it. She is playing with friends and gaining confidence in her language. We have made some real progress in many areas. For a period of about 4 weeks Mia was waking in the night and crying. This was a brand new issue. Mia had never demonstrated any difficulty with sleeping or crying in the night. From the day we met her in China, she would lay down and go to sleep at bedtime. Why now we questioned? I knew from our reading that there are often new layers of grieving and new layers to attachment that present themselves periodically. Is that what this was? It began when she was sick with pneumonia and then continued for weeks after she was healthy again. It was really difficult and we had no idea how to handle it. She was able to be consoled after some amount of time. Eventually Mia would stop crying, but if we left she would begin again and it was escalated into yelling and screaming. {MAD!}
She was sad and she was angry. It turned into a pattern of behavior where she was seeking our attention and love in the middle of the night. It went on for 1-2 hours some nights. Not so fun for anyone. We spent a lot of awake time and sleep time talking about how she could be sure of our love. We talked about how if she wakes up and is afraid or sad we would come and give hugs and kisses and pray, but then it was time to sleep again. We spent a lot of time in prayer. There were times that I felt so helpless. And times when I was very frustrated and exhausted. There were other times I just felt so sad for the insecurities that she must have in order to carry on in this way.
It is times like these when I really question how to parent. We knew that she was manipulating us and yet we knew that it was coming from such a fragile, emotional unmet need. We made sure to give a lot of extra love and kisses and snuggle time during the day. We talked a lot about what to do if she would wake up in the night {hug her baby, snuggle her blankies, ask for Mommy & Daddy if she needed our love}. We also told her that we were always available to give hugs and pray in the middle of the night, but afterward we would expect her to go back to sleep. We told her there would be consequences if she chose to continue to yell and scream. And we followed through. Her consequences were a nap the next afternoon and no treats after lunch or dinner the next day. I really had no idea if that would be effective, but we prayed desperately for her success. I am beyond grateful to say that Mia has now been sleeping through the night again without crying or yelling for over 3 weeks. Praise. The. Lord. And all glory to Him.
We have other issues that come up, but for the most part Mia is doing unbelievably well. I think because she is doing so well overall there are times that my expectations for her are way too high. I need to remind myself that she has only been in our family for 7 months. In many ways I believe emotionally Mia is much like a 2 year old.
{just a note...that is really hard to remember when she is in an almost 5 year old body and such a bright little girl}
Mia is gaining ground every day that she realizes the security she has in our family.
But trust takes time.
Mia continues to have an intense fear of dogs.
Unreasonably intense.
She clings to me (or Steve) with such grip & fear if a dog is even in the same room. She sobs and begs and pleads for the dog to be removed. It is so upsetting to me that she does not understand that she can trust us. I have seen fear in my other children before, but when they are in my arms they are comforted. For Mia, it is as though she does not believe that we will protect her. It is heartbreaking.
But we have gained ground here too. Just last night we went to our friend's home who have a sweet black lab. As soon as Mia heard that we would be going there, she said "I scared puppy." We spent a lot of time talking about the dog before we arrived. We spent a lot of time talking about how God gave her mommy & daddy to help protect her.
We talked about trust.
And for the first time, we were able to walk past the dog without gripping fear and tears. Mia said, "Hi puppy" as we walked past the dog and she allowed us to carry her inside. Don't get me wrong, Mia still was not interested in the dog being indoors or near her for any length of time, but she demonstrated a level of security and comfort in Steve's arms with the dog nearby that she has never shown before.
Even if it was brief.
That's victory.
Thank you Jesus.
On another note, Steve and I had the wonderful opportunity to getaway for 5 nights when we went on a cruise to the Bahamas at the beginning of the month. It was a much needed break for us. It was the first time away that Steve and I had taken since China {which was not a vacation}. Just saying. =) We went with 2 other couples who are dear friends and we had a blast. We made sure to have time alone as couples and then had lots of fun as a group during the evenings. My parents stayed with the kids and did a fantastic job managing all of the schedules, feeding the V. Crew and keeping life in order. We appreciated their sacrifice beyond measure. Steve and I both find it so important to have time away as a couple to pour into our marriage. My parents willingness to make that happen is a precious gift to us. Thank you Mom & Dad.
Until next time, we are thanking the Lord for His work in our lives and our family.
Below are a couple photos from the trip ...
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
