Tuesday, June 29, 2010
Monday, June 28, 2010
** UPDATE **
Praise the Lord!!! Praise the Lord!!! Our agency called at 3:37 pm! I am going crazy!!!!!! We will know our exact travel dates by Wednesday or Thursday when our CA (consulate appointment) is confirmed!! But it looks like we will be going in mid July - no coincidence that that is the EXACT time I told many people would be my preference because the boys really want to be baptized on July 11 and then we would be home in time for Caleb's birthday!! I don't want to get ahead of myself, but I am still screaming Praise the Lord. Can you hear me?? Apparently, God doesn't need pitocin. (see post below)
Overdue
I am officially overdue and I am struggling.
This is SO hard.
I never had to wait like this for my first three children.
Caleb was 2 weeks early, Luke was 3 weeks early and Chloe was 4 weeks early. Each of them came long before I was expecting them. I didn't realize how much easier that made the "wait" for each of them to arrive - because I never truly waited. My due date never came and went with all of my hopeful expectations.
Until now.
It feels like I am overdue and I am mad at myself for struggling with it. Why should this be so difficult? I know that the Lord's timing is perfect. I know that He is working out all of the details. None of this is a surprise to Him. I hate that everyone who has offered help while we are gone are waiting too & putting their lives and plans on hold. It is so hard for me to ask for help, but then to ask this of people too?! It feels like too much. This is SO hard. Did I say that already? I think if we weren't over 2 and a half years into this wait it may not be so rough. But then again, maybe not.
The average time between LOA and TA is 35-37 days. It actually used to be only about 14 days, but in the last couple months there has been a slow down.
*Sigh*
And now the average wait is 35-37 days.
Today is day 42.
I have been in constant prayer today. Not for our TA to come, but for me to SURRENDER. I have been playing praise & worship music all day. It really helps me to keep my focus on our GREAT God. Because of Him, my chains are gone. Why do I want to put them back on? I have been set FREE.
From Worry.
From Fear.
From Control.
Thank you Lord that you are long-suffering with me. It is shameful that I cannot trust You in this. I desperately want to. I do and then I put the chains back on. I know that worry is sin. I used to believe it was the mark of a good mom. I know that is a lie from the enemy. You are GOOD. You are FAITHFUL. You are TRUSTWORTHY. You are MY PROVIDER. You are MY SAVIOR. Help me to SURRENDER.
I wait for the LORD, my soul waits, and in His word I put my hope. Psalm 130:5
I'm overdue.
I am waiting on the Lord.
(but I've got to be honest I just want someone to point me toward the pitocin) =)
This is SO hard.
I never had to wait like this for my first three children.
Caleb was 2 weeks early, Luke was 3 weeks early and Chloe was 4 weeks early. Each of them came long before I was expecting them. I didn't realize how much easier that made the "wait" for each of them to arrive - because I never truly waited. My due date never came and went with all of my hopeful expectations.
Until now.
It feels like I am overdue and I am mad at myself for struggling with it. Why should this be so difficult? I know that the Lord's timing is perfect. I know that He is working out all of the details. None of this is a surprise to Him. I hate that everyone who has offered help while we are gone are waiting too & putting their lives and plans on hold. It is so hard for me to ask for help, but then to ask this of people too?! It feels like too much. This is SO hard. Did I say that already? I think if we weren't over 2 and a half years into this wait it may not be so rough. But then again, maybe not.
The average time between LOA and TA is 35-37 days. It actually used to be only about 14 days, but in the last couple months there has been a slow down.
*Sigh*
And now the average wait is 35-37 days.
Today is day 42.
I have been in constant prayer today. Not for our TA to come, but for me to SURRENDER. I have been playing praise & worship music all day. It really helps me to keep my focus on our GREAT God. Because of Him, my chains are gone. Why do I want to put them back on? I have been set FREE.
From Worry.
From Fear.
From Control.
Thank you Lord that you are long-suffering with me. It is shameful that I cannot trust You in this. I desperately want to. I do and then I put the chains back on. I know that worry is sin. I used to believe it was the mark of a good mom. I know that is a lie from the enemy. You are GOOD. You are FAITHFUL. You are TRUSTWORTHY. You are MY PROVIDER. You are MY SAVIOR. Help me to SURRENDER.
I wait for the LORD, my soul waits, and in His word I put my hope. Psalm 130:5
I'm overdue.
I am waiting on the Lord.
(but I've got to be honest I just want someone to point me toward the pitocin) =)
Thursday, June 24, 2010
We've got thumb issues
At Chloe's last dental check-up, I was strongly encouraged to get her to stop sucking her thumb.
That was almost 6 months ago...
She sucks her thumb now more than ever...
and we're headed back to the dentist soon. Yikes.
We have to ask Chloe to take her thumb out of her mouth constantly - even when she is talking. It really didn't bother me until the dentist went on and on about all of the mouth and teeth issues she will have if she doesn't stop - that and when she started keeping it in her mouth while speaking - definitely not okay with me.
We have tried all kinds of things to help her break the habit - to no avail. Chloe doesn't even realize it's in there. Caleb stopped sucking his thumb all on his own by this age. Thankfully, Luke was never interested. So, our most recent attempt has her wearing this pretty little mitten on her left hand. She is not very happy about it - and I am not too confident that it will be successful. Any suggestions? Someday this will be a sweet memory about our precious little girl - right?
That was almost 6 months ago...
She sucks her thumb now more than ever...
and we're headed back to the dentist soon. Yikes.
We have to ask Chloe to take her thumb out of her mouth constantly - even when she is talking. It really didn't bother me until the dentist went on and on about all of the mouth and teeth issues she will have if she doesn't stop - that and when she started keeping it in her mouth while speaking - definitely not okay with me.
We have tried all kinds of things to help her break the habit - to no avail. Chloe doesn't even realize it's in there. Caleb stopped sucking his thumb all on his own by this age. Thankfully, Luke was never interested. So, our most recent attempt has her wearing this pretty little mitten on her left hand. She is not very happy about it - and I am not too confident that it will be successful. Any suggestions? Someday this will be a sweet memory about our precious little girl - right?
Tuesday, June 22, 2010
It's been a while...
but I've been busy WAITING.
Actually, the last 2 weeks have been jammed full of all kinds of activity. We had a CRAZY, fun 80s party with some of our absolute favorite people in the world. We ended up on the 10 o'clock news, in the newspaper and in our local magazine. When 30 people head downtown dressed like this there is NO WAY that you won't cause a stir. The boombox on the shoulder blasting "Hard Habit to Break" didn't help either. LOL.
The next day we discovered an undeniable bulls-eye rash on Caleb. After confirming that it was indeed Lyme's Disease, our beloved friend and doctor Vicky, got us the medication he needed to begin treatment. Caleb's first night was difficult with aches and fever, but since then he has had absolutely no trouble. Praise the Lord. The rash cleared up within 3 days and now he just continues with his meds 3x/day for 3 weeks. Thank you Vicky for your amazing help and reassuring words for a worried mama.
It really is no surprise to me that he got Lyme's, we have pulled off well over a dozen deer ticks from the boys since May. We considered making the boys stay out of the woods, but I really felt like I would be asking them not to breathe. They love building, creating, climbing and discovering in those woods and I just cannot take that from them. That is what being a boy is all about. It is such a huge part of their childhood. We have instead decided to be even more vigilant with our tick checks each night.
I was also incredibly busy preparing for, organizing, and setting up a garage sale with friends, Christy and Megan. It was an insane amount of work. Christy's family is in the early stages of adoption and we, as you know, are at the end. All of our earnings were going toward our individual upcoming adoption expenses. It was a great success. Despite the predicted forecast of intermittent thunder showers all day, the Lord provided perfect weather - NOT A DROP of rain. We sold A TON of clothes and as always, there were a lot left on hangers. So, I am still in the midst of donating and distributing all of the remaining things. We made a little over $700 that we will put straight toward our upcoming travel costs. Christy's family made over $1700 which will help immensely with their homestudy costs. God is good. I think I can safely say this was my last garage sale, but it does feel good to have so many empty bins.
Then we celebrated Father's Day...I am so grateful for my father. He is a good man and a great dad. I have so many wonderful memories from my childhood with him and he is just as important to me today. I am also thankful that Steve has a wonderful father, my father-in-law. He too is a great dad. We have been overwhelmingly blessed by the famiy that the Lord chose for us. Finally, I am unbelievably thankful for my husband, the father of my children. I have grown to love him even more as I have watched him father our kids. He is an incredible father...
He is patient and kind.
He spends time teaching them,
playing with them
and pointing them toward the truth, love and grace of Our Savior, Jesus Christ.
I am thanking the Lord for all of the wonderful fathers He has placed around me.
Even more so, for the incomparably great Heavenly Father that HE IS.
In the midst of all of this...we are still waiting.
Waiting for that piece of paper...that says TRAVEL APPROVAL.
We still do not have travel dates.
That means we do not know when we are going to China.
Please pray with me that I will wait on THE LORD - where my strength will rise- and NOT on that piece of paper.
In His Perfect Timing,
Karen
P.S.
Enjoy the pictures below I promise they'll make you laugh.
We rocked the 80's like no other. =)
Thank you Lord for laughter.
And friends.
And fun.
They are gifts from You that make the wait so sweet.
Actually, the last 2 weeks have been jammed full of all kinds of activity. We had a CRAZY, fun 80s party with some of our absolute favorite people in the world. We ended up on the 10 o'clock news, in the newspaper and in our local magazine. When 30 people head downtown dressed like this there is NO WAY that you won't cause a stir. The boombox on the shoulder blasting "Hard Habit to Break" didn't help either. LOL.
The next day we discovered an undeniable bulls-eye rash on Caleb. After confirming that it was indeed Lyme's Disease, our beloved friend and doctor Vicky, got us the medication he needed to begin treatment. Caleb's first night was difficult with aches and fever, but since then he has had absolutely no trouble. Praise the Lord. The rash cleared up within 3 days and now he just continues with his meds 3x/day for 3 weeks. Thank you Vicky for your amazing help and reassuring words for a worried mama.
It really is no surprise to me that he got Lyme's, we have pulled off well over a dozen deer ticks from the boys since May. We considered making the boys stay out of the woods, but I really felt like I would be asking them not to breathe. They love building, creating, climbing and discovering in those woods and I just cannot take that from them. That is what being a boy is all about. It is such a huge part of their childhood. We have instead decided to be even more vigilant with our tick checks each night.
I was also incredibly busy preparing for, organizing, and setting up a garage sale with friends, Christy and Megan. It was an insane amount of work. Christy's family is in the early stages of adoption and we, as you know, are at the end. All of our earnings were going toward our individual upcoming adoption expenses. It was a great success. Despite the predicted forecast of intermittent thunder showers all day, the Lord provided perfect weather - NOT A DROP of rain. We sold A TON of clothes and as always, there were a lot left on hangers. So, I am still in the midst of donating and distributing all of the remaining things. We made a little over $700 that we will put straight toward our upcoming travel costs. Christy's family made over $1700 which will help immensely with their homestudy costs. God is good. I think I can safely say this was my last garage sale, but it does feel good to have so many empty bins.
Then we celebrated Father's Day...I am so grateful for my father. He is a good man and a great dad. I have so many wonderful memories from my childhood with him and he is just as important to me today. I am also thankful that Steve has a wonderful father, my father-in-law. He too is a great dad. We have been overwhelmingly blessed by the famiy that the Lord chose for us. Finally, I am unbelievably thankful for my husband, the father of my children. I have grown to love him even more as I have watched him father our kids. He is an incredible father...
He is patient and kind.
He spends time teaching them,
playing with them
and pointing them toward the truth, love and grace of Our Savior, Jesus Christ.
I am thanking the Lord for all of the wonderful fathers He has placed around me.
Even more so, for the incomparably great Heavenly Father that HE IS.
In the midst of all of this...we are still waiting.
Waiting for that piece of paper...that says TRAVEL APPROVAL.
We still do not have travel dates.
That means we do not know when we are going to China.
Please pray with me that I will wait on THE LORD - where my strength will rise- and NOT on that piece of paper.
In His Perfect Timing,
Karen
P.S.
Enjoy the pictures below I promise they'll make you laugh.
We rocked the 80's like no other. =)
Thank you Lord for laughter.
And friends.
And fun.
They are gifts from You that make the wait so sweet.
Wednesday, June 9, 2010
This is the way, walk in it
Last weekend Steve and I headed to Door County just the two of us. It was a really wonderful time. Door County holds a special place in our hearts because we honeymooned there almost 11 years ago. We have tried to return for a weekend alone once a year ever since. While it has not always been easy to arrange, we both really feel strongly that we need that time together as a couple each year and especially before big life events in our family. We realized that this would likely be the last opportunity to have a getaway alone for quite some time as we eagerly anticipate the arrival of Mia. So, we made sure to get it on the calendar.
So where were the kids?
We purchased a package at our church youth auction fundraiser that included babysitting for a "mom & dad weekend away." The family who kept our three children are good friends and we knew the kids would have a blast. They did and we were so grateful to know that they were in good hands. Thank you Jason, Stacey, Kyle and Kory!
Steve and I had the opportunity to talk uninterrupted, to stay in bed as long as we wanted, to eat our meals when they were hot, and to slowly and casually shop among all of the breakables. =) We did all of those things and more. We had two amazing breakfasts (thanks to my wonderful breakfast chef husband) ...no need for lunch and two great dinners out. We also had a fun time playing tennis, hanging out in the hot tub, swimming laps and hiking in Peninsula State Park.
Hiking in Peninsula with my man is one of my favorite things to do while we are in DC. Steve and I have had some of our greatest talks in that woods. We spend time looking back on all that the Lord has done in our lives and looking forward to all that is to come. We have anticipated the arrival of each one of our children walking along those same trails. There is something about listening to the crunch of twigs under our feet, hand in hand, as we talk about our lives together, that is such a gift from the Lord. We truly marvel at His creation and are humbled by all that He has done. May it all be for His glory. Thank you God for giving us that time.
"Who am I, O Sovereign LORD, and what is my family, that you have brought me this far?" 2 Samuel 7:18
The very first time we hiked in those woods together, in November of 1999, Steve picked up an interesting stick in the shape of a Y. He held onto it as we talked and walked along the path. At some point along the way, Steve decided that he would hang it up in a tree and there it was left. Almost on accident, the following year during our anniversary trip, we found that silly stick hanging in the tree right where we had left it. Since that time, we have been leaving our Y stick somewhere along those trails only to be found again year after year.
What started as something quite insignifigant has now become a sweet tradition. Over the years, Steve has whittled the bark off and added our initials. Through the ice cold winter storms, the heavy rains of spring, the sticky heat of summer, and the brisk winds of fall, that silly little stick has endured.
I wonder how many people have passed by...
You know it is funny how many times we have hiked those trails and how familiar they have become to me yet, I know that I could never get myself back there where our little Y stick hangs. On those paths Steve is always leading and I don't worry about where we are headed. I just rest in the knowledge that he knows where we are going. I am thankful for his leadership in our family. I am even more thankful that Steve is following the leadership of the Lord to guide and direct the steps for our family. It is no surprise that some of my favorite Scriptures remind me of His leadership and direction. He is the One leading us along this path. Sometimes it has been smooth and easy and at other times it has been rocky and really hard. There are times we have stumbled or gotten thorns in our feet. And sometimes we can see a big climb up ahead.
Through it all there is no greater guide than the Lord Jesus Christ.
Thank you Lord for Your Word...
Your word is a lamp to my feet and a light to my path. Psalm 119:105
Oh how often I have prayed these for me and for my family...
Teach me your way, O LORD, and I will walk in your truth; give me an undivided heart, that I may fear your name. Psalm 86:11
Whether you turn to the right or to the left, your ears will hear a voice behind you, saying, "This is the way; walk in it." Isaiah 30:21
I trust Him with my steps...
I know, O LORD, that a man's life is not his own; it is not for man to direct his steps. Jeremiah 10:23
In his heart a man plans his course, but the LORD determines his steps. Proverbs 16:9
I am so grateful that He is trustworthy...
Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for He who promised is faithful. Hebrews 10:23
Wednesday, June 2, 2010
Tears of Joy
I just received an amazing email. It was one of those emails that you start reading and then you realize it is going to be a really big deal. So you turn everything off, you sit up and pay attention to every detail. You need everyone quiet in order to read uninterrupted.
It was that kind of email.
So that's what I did.
And then I read it in it's entirety.
And then came the tears of joy.
And lots of praising the Lord.
To give you some context...I am a part of a yahoo group for families adopting from our agency, Christian World Adoption (CWA). It is specifically a group for those adopting children off of one of CWA's Hope Project Lists. The Hope Project Lists are a part of a program developed by our agency for waiting children in China with a wide range of special needs. CWA meets the children, works with them and then advocates to find families for them.
Mia was on one of those lists.
When we learned of Mia, we were given some minimal medical information and 3 pictures. We were also able to see a short, 2 minute video clip of her from when our agency met her. I am sure that Steve and I have easily watched that video 100s of times. The email I received came from a woman who was in China helping with the children before and after each child was met & "interviewed" for the Hope Project.
I have attached the email so that you could read it too. In all honesty, it may not seem like it's all that earth shattering to you, but let me tell you that every detail I learn about my little girl on the other side of the world is earth shattering to me. You see, Mia has lived for over 4 years without us. We have missed so much. We have missed big things like birthdays and Christmases, first steps and first words. We have also missed the little things like what she had for lunch or who she played with for the last 1,524 days. So hearing the details about just a few minutes of one of her days means the world to me.
Here it is:
Karen-
I've just recently joined the Yahoo group for the Hope Project. I'm not sure why I waited this long and I was browsing through the recent posts. I love to go to people's blogs and read about their adoption journey. I clicked over to yours and happily saw that you are adopting little Chun Hui. I am also adopting from this particular Hope Project and had the opportunity to meet your little girl back in December when I helped entertain the kids before and after they were interviewed by Mei & Nancy. I looked through my pictures but I didn't have any of your daughter but I thought at least I could tell you what I remember about her.
I met her in a hotel near the great wall, about an hour outside of Beijing (Badaling). All the children we met there came from foster care and not the institute -- probably farmers or something very rural. Many of the kids brought their lunch to eat -- 2 or 3 hard boiled eggs in a bag. I remember that, although there were balloons and other toys to play with, when I gave your daughter a deck of cards she was so excited and happy. They were just a pack of regular cards with Mickey Mouse on them. She was completely entranced with them. She would deal them out - one for me and one for her - and we put our legs out to "protect" them from all the other little hands who wanted to see them. She was quiet but I suspect that it was only because I was a stranger. She was not afraid of me at all (many of the kids were very wary of a white lady speaking chinese to them). She seemed very sharp and assertive - I was very impressed with her.
I only had just a few minutes with your daughter but wanted to share those moments with you. I pray that you will find your way to the end of the process very quickly and be in China super fast. My family and I are adopting a 5 year old little girl from the same hope project - we live in Shanghai and hope to be travelling by September for our daughter. We go home to the US every summer (once per year) so our return in August will be quite exciting for the family as we get a step closer to our little Tait.
As a Christ follower, I am always so happy to see when these children are placed in a home that puts an emphasis on their walk with Jesus. Although these kids' and our lives will be changed forever by adoption, my heart swells to see that they will be introduced to their Heavenly Father and have a chance to hear how He loves them and has had a plan for them from before their beginning.
Enjoy your time of preparation as this leg of your journey comes to a close and best wishes for your precious little girl.
His,
Judi
This means the world to me. I cannot wait to bring Mia home to her family. I cannot wait to introduce her to Jesus.
I absolutely LOVE that she loves cards. I just know that she is going to dive right into our family UNO matches...and one day enjoy playing hearts around the table while her daddy, her Boppa and her Uncle Mark "shoot for the moon!"
And don't get me started on how fast deviled eggs get inhaled at family gatherings around here.
I'm still crying tears of joy. Thanks for listening.
Praising Him,
Karen
"Those who sow in tears, will reap with songs of joy" Psalm 126:5
P.S. It looks like we will be adding playing cards to the packing list. =)
It was that kind of email.
So that's what I did.
And then I read it in it's entirety.
And then came the tears of joy.
And lots of praising the Lord.
To give you some context...I am a part of a yahoo group for families adopting from our agency, Christian World Adoption (CWA). It is specifically a group for those adopting children off of one of CWA's Hope Project Lists. The Hope Project Lists are a part of a program developed by our agency for waiting children in China with a wide range of special needs. CWA meets the children, works with them and then advocates to find families for them.
Mia was on one of those lists.
When we learned of Mia, we were given some minimal medical information and 3 pictures. We were also able to see a short, 2 minute video clip of her from when our agency met her. I am sure that Steve and I have easily watched that video 100s of times. The email I received came from a woman who was in China helping with the children before and after each child was met & "interviewed" for the Hope Project.
I have attached the email so that you could read it too. In all honesty, it may not seem like it's all that earth shattering to you, but let me tell you that every detail I learn about my little girl on the other side of the world is earth shattering to me. You see, Mia has lived for over 4 years without us. We have missed so much. We have missed big things like birthdays and Christmases, first steps and first words. We have also missed the little things like what she had for lunch or who she played with for the last 1,524 days. So hearing the details about just a few minutes of one of her days means the world to me.
Here it is:
Karen-
I've just recently joined the Yahoo group for the Hope Project. I'm not sure why I waited this long and I was browsing through the recent posts. I love to go to people's blogs and read about their adoption journey. I clicked over to yours and happily saw that you are adopting little Chun Hui. I am also adopting from this particular Hope Project and had the opportunity to meet your little girl back in December when I helped entertain the kids before and after they were interviewed by Mei & Nancy. I looked through my pictures but I didn't have any of your daughter but I thought at least I could tell you what I remember about her.
I met her in a hotel near the great wall, about an hour outside of Beijing (Badaling). All the children we met there came from foster care and not the institute -- probably farmers or something very rural. Many of the kids brought their lunch to eat -- 2 or 3 hard boiled eggs in a bag. I remember that, although there were balloons and other toys to play with, when I gave your daughter a deck of cards she was so excited and happy. They were just a pack of regular cards with Mickey Mouse on them. She was completely entranced with them. She would deal them out - one for me and one for her - and we put our legs out to "protect" them from all the other little hands who wanted to see them. She was quiet but I suspect that it was only because I was a stranger. She was not afraid of me at all (many of the kids were very wary of a white lady speaking chinese to them). She seemed very sharp and assertive - I was very impressed with her.
I only had just a few minutes with your daughter but wanted to share those moments with you. I pray that you will find your way to the end of the process very quickly and be in China super fast. My family and I are adopting a 5 year old little girl from the same hope project - we live in Shanghai and hope to be travelling by September for our daughter. We go home to the US every summer (once per year) so our return in August will be quite exciting for the family as we get a step closer to our little Tait.
As a Christ follower, I am always so happy to see when these children are placed in a home that puts an emphasis on their walk with Jesus. Although these kids' and our lives will be changed forever by adoption, my heart swells to see that they will be introduced to their Heavenly Father and have a chance to hear how He loves them and has had a plan for them from before their beginning.
Enjoy your time of preparation as this leg of your journey comes to a close and best wishes for your precious little girl.
His,
Judi
This means the world to me. I cannot wait to bring Mia home to her family. I cannot wait to introduce her to Jesus.
I absolutely LOVE that she loves cards. I just know that she is going to dive right into our family UNO matches...and one day enjoy playing hearts around the table while her daddy, her Boppa and her Uncle Mark "shoot for the moon!"
And don't get me started on how fast deviled eggs get inhaled at family gatherings around here.
I'm still crying tears of joy. Thanks for listening.
Praising Him,
Karen
"Those who sow in tears, will reap with songs of joy" Psalm 126:5
P.S. It looks like we will be adding playing cards to the packing list. =)
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