I am officially overdue and I am struggling.
This is SO hard.
I never had to wait like this for my first three children.
Caleb was 2 weeks early, Luke was 3 weeks early and Chloe was 4 weeks early. Each of them came long before I was expecting them. I didn't realize how much easier that made the "wait" for each of them to arrive - because I never truly waited. My due date never came and went with all of my hopeful expectations.
Until now.
It feels like I am overdue and I am mad at myself for struggling with it. Why should this be so difficult? I know that the Lord's timing is perfect. I know that He is working out all of the details. None of this is a surprise to Him. I hate that everyone who has offered help while we are gone are waiting too & putting their lives and plans on hold. It is so hard for me to ask for help, but then to ask this of people too?! It feels like too much. This is SO hard. Did I say that already? I think if we weren't over 2 and a half years into this wait it may not be so rough. But then again, maybe not.
The average time between LOA and TA is 35-37 days. It actually used to be only about 14 days, but in the last couple months there has been a slow down.
*Sigh*
And now the average wait is 35-37 days.
Today is day 42.
I have been in constant prayer today. Not for our TA to come, but for me to SURRENDER. I have been playing praise & worship music all day. It really helps me to keep my focus on our GREAT God. Because of Him, my chains are gone. Why do I want to put them back on? I have been set FREE.
From Worry.
From Fear.
From Control.
Thank you Lord that you are long-suffering with me. It is shameful that I cannot trust You in this. I desperately want to. I do and then I put the chains back on. I know that worry is sin. I used to believe it was the mark of a good mom. I know that is a lie from the enemy. You are GOOD. You are FAITHFUL. You are TRUSTWORTHY. You are MY PROVIDER. You are MY SAVIOR. Help me to SURRENDER.
I wait for the LORD, my soul waits, and in His word I put my hope. Psalm 130:5
I'm overdue.
I am waiting on the Lord.
(but I've got to be honest I just want someone to point me toward the pitocin) =)
It has been...
Steve & Karen
Caleb
Luke
Chloe
Mia
About Me
- Steve, Karen and the V. Crew
- We are an ordinary midwest family of 6 who likes to have fun and laugh and play and sing and who loves Jesus. Three of our kiddos were homegrown and one is a gift from China. We desperately desire to honor God with our lives and bring glory to His Name.
1 comment:
Hey Karen - I've seen you on the other CWA boards. Waiting is hard. We're waiting for our LOA and it is also "overdue". If it is any consolation, I emailed with Mei this morning, and after telling me some update about checks, and that it might take a couple of months (!!!), she emailed me back and said the checks cleared and that our LOA is just waiting for someone to do a final review. I have to believe that they bundle agencies, so I hope your TA is also with that group! Your family is beautiful, I'll be praying for you on your trip to your newest addition!
Elizabeth (waiting to be mom to Honor, from the January Hope list)
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