New information...

I learned last night that Mia is in a foster family. When requesting an update on some other information, a comment led me to ask if she had been moved from the orphanage. In a nutshell, I now understand that at some point she was placed in foster care. I don't know if she has been there for years or months. I don't know if she is in a foster home (run by orphanage staff) or in an individual foster family. I don't know if I will ever know the answers to those questions.

When I learned the news, I felt heartbroken. I felt like I had been punched. I literally had to catch my breath as I read it. It was such a painful reminder of how very little we know about Mia's situation, how completely out of control I am over the details. All this time I understood her to be in an orphanage in Beijing. I have researched it extensively, have accessed dozens of pictures and communicated with many families who have adopted children from there. There was such comfort in being able to picture, even if just a little bit, where she is while we wait and long to hold her.

It is really hard to describe my mixed emotions. In many ways, her being placed in foster care could be a very good thing. Many children adopted from foster care in China do not have the same developmental delays as children institutionalized for their entire lives. Many children in foster care learn healthy attachment and bonding with their foster families which often translates to healthy attachment with their adoptive family. Many children in foster care understand family dynamics and the role of mommy and daddy better than those coming straight from orphanages. Many children in foster care are well prepared for their adoption. But really I don't know any of this for certain either.

There is no guarantee that she is in a loving, healthy home.

There is no guarantee that she is protected from abuse or neglect.

I pray desperately that she is.

On the other hand, I know that if her foster home is loving and caring, she may grieve very intensely when she is pulled from it. Honestly, my dark fear is that she will hate me for ripping her from her foster mom and family. It also means there may be a family who grieves as well. I know how much I grew to love the 2 year old foster son of my dear friend in his 5 short months with their family. We still miss little Junebug and think about him often.

I pray that we will receive pictures of her foster family. I pray that we will get contact information. I pray that we will be able to meet them. I have so many questions. Is she loved? Is she protected? Does she have foster siblings? What is her life like there? Where is it? Is she in a house? An apartment building? Does she share a room or is she in a room alone? How long has she been there?

I think this news more than anything has shaken me. I feel a huge responsibility to know everything I can about her first four years without us so that I can share it with her. It is part of her story. It is her history. I want to be able to put as many of the pieces together as I can for her.

After finding out, I called my sister and was able to have a little cry (thank you Kathy). I feel better today. The Lord has brought peace to my heart. While this was a surprise to me, the Lord has never lost track of Mia (thank you for those sweet words Jess). I know that this too, is all apart of His Sovereign plan to bring Mia home to her forever family. We have new ways to pray for her now, new things to prepare for.

Please pray for Mia...that she is safe, and loved, and cared for, and protected. Pray that her little heart is being prepared for our family - that she can receive our love and give it in return. Pray that the Lord will pour out an extra measure of grace and strength and peace for the trauma that lies ahead for her.

I just want to go get her.
But I will serve Him in the wait - I will worship while I'm waiting.

Worshipping the King,
Karen

Below is a picture Steve took of Chloe. She was fully enjoying her vanilla shake made by her Daddy...brings a smile to my face. Hope it brightens your day too.