Prior to their time here, we had decided (at the recommendation of a pediatric neuropsychologist and family friend - thank you Dr. Bob!) that we would add a new layer to our attachment approach. Up until now, Steve and I (and Caleb, Luke & Chloe) were the only ones meeting Mia's needs, holding her, feeding her, comforting her and showing her affection. We knew that when Grandma & Boppa arrived Mia would see them be very affectionate with the other 3 kids and we were concerned that if they avoided showing affection to Mia that she would internalize this in a negative way. (ie. What's wrong with me? Why am I different?) Dr. Newby suggested that we add a 3rd layer... so rather than our current approach of 2 layers:
1. Mom, Dad, & siblings
2. Everyone else.
We now planned to add another layer:
1. Mom, Dad & siblings
2. Grandparents, Aunts/Uncles, Close Family Friends
3. Everyone else.
This new "circle" would allow the people close to us who normally demonstrate affection and some caregiving to our children to now include Mia as well. We, as her parents, planned to continue to be the sole provider of comfort, bathing, and bedtime, etc.
So how did it go?
SO WELL!!!
We all had a special time during their visit and Mia adored her Grandma & Boppa. She was calling for Grandma all day long and really connected with my mom. It was sweet to see. My parents surprised us with a treat to go out for dinner for a couple hours and have our first date night since July 22 (Mia Day)! What a gift. Date nights are a big deal for us around here and we appreciated it beyond measure. We fed the kids, left and then made sure that we were home before bedtime. Mia did FANTASTIC. She was cautious as we left, but we had explained that we would be back before it was time for bed and gave lots of hugs & kisses. I am certain having her siblings with her made all the difference. She had no tears and she did really well while we were away. We were also glad that she ran to greet us with hugs as we got home. We could not be more thrilled with her response to her very first "babysitting" experience. And Grandma & Boppa reported having a wonderful time with all FOUR of the V.Crew!
Very impressive. =)
We also filled our 24 hours with a big neighborhood baseball game with Boppa & Steve and makeshift bases(bringing back sweet memories of my childhood with my dad), wagon rides, a walk to the park, putting on a "show" in the backyard, bike rides, playing with the doll house, reading books, games of Zingo (and Hearts after the kids were asleep), snuggling into the guest bed in the early morning hours with Grandma & Boppa, a big breakfast and worship at church.
Thank you Mom & Dad for your love for ALL of our children (and US)! Thank you for coming for a visit, we had such a great time together. Thank you, also, for giving us a date night so that we could have some treasured time as a couple.
Enjoy the pictures from our special times.
1 comment:
Karen, The pictures of your dad and Mia are precious. They really capture what I am sure is a genuine love your dad has for her and she for him. What a beautiful gift God has given to your entire family and friends by calling you to Mia. I remember when I went to Venezuela as a missionary and someone shared with me that that particular call on my life was not only limited to me but also to my parents and brothers and friends, etc. That proved to be so true as I watched the Lord transform my life AND their's through that call. He is an incredible God, that God of ours, and He uses our individual calls corporately as well and I am so blessed to be growing and learning through your obedience to His call on you and Steve. Blessings today!
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